Well first of all, thank you for visiting and you're welcome, for putting my thoughts online for you to read. Being my first blog post ever and not actually knowing what I'm going to write about I think I'll just tell you a little story.
I grew up going to church. Started out at a small conservative baptist church off of Lancaster and ended up at First Baptist downtown around 4th grade. I grew up with pretty solid guide lines of how to live my life. You know. Sin = Bad Don't do it. I did a pretty solid job. Breezed through school without any problems. Never got in trouble. I was a good yet boring kid. Life was monotonous going through the motions of what I thought being a christian was. That being go to church on Sunday, don't do drugs, obey your parents, treat others as you want to be treated, the general guidelines. All of which I think should be done but my God at the time was a distant all powerful being with rules to follow. Things didn't change or even make sense until I moved out around the age of 22. I lived with some friends in North Salem and had a blast. We had some pretty solid gatherings of people. (alcohol and fun provided) Nothing bad ever happened we just drank and enjoyed life. I lived outside my box of Christianity during the week and would enjoy being a christian on Sundays. During these days I also started reading daily devotionals every once in a while and eventually worked my way into indulging into the bible. It was an interesting time because I had my feet on both sides of the fence of life. Not fully committing to either side.You could say I was double dipping.
Then my life would change. I was being recruited. I remember countless days staying up late and chatting with a friend about spiritual questions I had. My question one night was something along the lines of "How can someone notice the difference between a christian and someone who is not a christian and just genuinely happy?" Sure Christians are supposed to be the light in the world but I know plenty of people who are just as happy if not happier then most Christians. So I took my question to a Man who would give God the opportunity to rock my world. I asked a friend from work, someone I knew would have an answer. But the answer isn't what I needed. It was a question he would ask me. He asked If I had ever had a bad day. Honestly, I didn't know how to respond. Sure there are days that I would like to keep to myself, or days that I wish had a fast forward but a "bad" day was something I had yet to experience. Especially when comparing my life with most of the world. I have parents that love me. I have a house, a job, a car. I simply told him that I couldn't say that I did. I told him how I felt and told him I was interested in how I would respond to such a day. When would I really have had a bad day? Be careful what you ask for... God Listens.
So I left work that afternoon and was on my way to run some errands. I quickly charged my phone when I got home and headed out to the liquor store. I had some alcohol to purchase for a Halloween party the roommates and I had planned. On my way there a warning light came on in my car. "Electrical System Error" I ignored it as any poor young college student would do and drove on. I hung out with some friends that night, watched some football, met up for some food, hung out with the family and then was ready to drive home from South Salem. I hopped on the free way at the Kuebler entrance and headed North. As I was driving my car stereo started turning on and off along with some other warning lights including the ABS light, oil light, and seat belts light. I was approaching Mission street and decided I was over half way home so I might as well keep driving. As my car continued acting crazy a new message came up. "Break Failure. Pull Over Immediately." So my heart started pounding and I pressed on the breaks... They still worked, Thank God. Nearing the Market street overpass I continued to push my luck with the car. Eventually the luck ran out and I coasted to a stop on top of the overpass. It was barely above freezing and rainy that night. I pulled out my phone to call home and of course it was completely dead. So I got out of my car with some change and started making my trek to Denny's. I got inside and asked to use a phone. They told me to try and use the pay phone at the Fred Meyer gas station. I made it over there and looked around. Eventually coming to the conclusion they didn't have one. That was around the time I realized I had asked for a bad day and was getting it. Does God really listen to me? I easily could have been frustrated at my car, my phone, the Denny's employees. I had plenty of reasons to curse them all. But my world had just been shaken. God isn't a distant God with rules and commands to follow. God is here with me, actively recruiting me, and using other people to do so. The joy of this realization exploded out of me. I burst into singing worship songs as I ran through gravel parking lots, splashing through puddles without a care in the world. God LOVES me enough to give me a "bad day." I eventually made it to a friends house well past 2am and later retrieved my car from the freeway.
That was the begining to an end. It was the begining of a relationship and an end to a religion. The thing is I'm moving toward God now, not away. I'm continuing to build this relationship with him. I'm actively pursuing the God of the Universe rather then being selfish and expecting him to pursue me. I'm far from perfect and will admit it. But I'm living life and doing so with my best friend.
Thanks for reading, Ramoi.
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